Romans 3:4; 10-18; 20; 5:4
GOD be praised! I’m sitting here writing this part of the Integrity series and GOD has reminded me to share yet something else about me. I do this with great joy because I am not ashamed of my past. I bless the name of JESUS for showing me how much sinned yet remained in my saved being.
There was a time when I was so full of anger, however I was not aware. No one either dared to tell me or they never saw the rage that dwelled within me because I was kind acting. I have two failed marriages, the second time I remarried I informed my husband why my first marriage fell apart. To my surprise part of why my marriage fell apart was happening within my second marriage also.
Less than 24 hours after I informed my second husband about my first husband’s infidelity I find my second husband in the act of the same. Like most women, I went after the other woman and whipped up on her. Then I went to my husband and whipped up on him. I felt so guilty about what I had done I called the police myself and turned myself in. Good thing too because after I made the phone call I turned around and heard the other woman speaking. I could not believe she entered my home so I began whipping up on her again, however my rage was so out of control that I nearly killed the woman. The police took me to jail and booked my on 2nd degree assault with intent to kill. When the police began to question me I told them everything that had truly happened not trying to make myself appear as the victim.
My character was that of truth. No matter how many times they questioned me the truth consistently prevailed. I had no idea that they spoke with all those who witnessed the fight. I had no idea that my husband and the other woman were questioned. I had no idea that they were comparing what I had said to what everyone else was saying. All I knew was truth and that I had made GOD look bad.
I spent 3 months in the county jail of where I had resided at that time. GOD allowed this to happen to me because HE had to get out of me what was destroying me and embarrassing HIM. No matter what went on judicially GOD was in control. No matter how many lies were hurled towards my character GOD revealed to the judicial system that it was not so. Each time I was to appear in court to face my accusers the Holy Spirit would say to me allow your Attorney to do all the speaking for you and only say what HE tells you to say. Now that brought joy to my soul because in the natural my Attorney was a woman. I knew that the Holy Spirit was speaking of JESUS.
For 3 months JESUS spoke to my Attorney and the Judge. As the Holy Spirit, was removing the anger from my life. Once I was delivered from anger within 7 days of the deliverance I was released to go home. It was another 3 months that I would return to court for sentencing which was to attend anger management for 90 days and was placed on probation. After my probation officer got to know me she could not believe that I was capable of the act in which I was charged for. I informed her that it was all true and I explained to her what GOD had done while in jail.
I’m certain she had to listen with reservation because most of the inmates who have a JESUS experience in jail do not bring JESUS out of the jail with them. I went in knowing JESUS. I was just introduced to another side of HIM that I kept reading about but kept falling short of.
After completing anger management the instructor wrote that they could not understand why I was there, it was clear to them and to the other students that I did not have an anger issue.
When I returned to court after completing the anger management class the judge said the following to me.
“It’s not a practice I make in this decision that I have come to. I fully believe that just as men have to be punished for domestic violence that women must be upheld for the same punishment. The judicial system has gone over your past life with a fine tooth comb and there is nothing that we can find that shows to us that crime is a hit and miss or a lifestyle of yours. We have spoken with people who have known you for years and those who just met you in your community and we can find no one that has anything negative to say about you. The judicial system has looked over your school and employment records and we have found nothing about you that was once at anytime given pause to steer you from a life of negativity to that of positivity. We must also take into consideration that at no time did your accusers come to court to hear what their attorneys was doing on their behalf. Now it is my decision that not only have you served your time in full but that you will have your record sponged immediately.”
This goes to show me and anyone else that regardless of the lies that humans will tell GOD is true and HIS Word will prevail. HE does not care if humans reject HIM because HIS Word is true. So we must not care if others reject us when we speak about our testimony and how GOD helped us and how HE will help them. When I say doesn’t care what is meant by that is we care, GOD cares but we can’t allow that rejection to stop us from being and doing what GOD wants. GOD is going to still be in control; HE is still going to save; deliver and transform the lives that want to be saved; delivered and transformed into HIS image.
So now I am being justified in my faith all that has been removed from my being has been replaced with the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). Yet I’m not perfect, however, I do strive for perfection.