Far be it for me to think of myself as an expert on marriage. I’m not. I’ve had two failed marriages both to men who were not saved (separated from GOD by the enemy and hell). What I have learned from those failed marriages may take a bit longer than what I plan to share.

**Warning** If you are in the process of becoming married know this now; most women spend more time on preparing for the wedding than they do the marriage. Most men don’t think of marriage at all; for the most part they just know that they want that woman and no one else can have her. He forgets to continue courting her; because whatever you did to win her you must continue and step your game up to keep her.

**FYI**If you are already married and marriage is a struggle, both of you need to talk not yell about how you got off course. Review the courtship; detect all the lies you both told and did not adhere to. Women, men are very basic people if you listen you can detect the lie and listen for the truth; they will tell you the truth but it must be according to how you ask the question. Rekindle your love for each other with pure honesty, let the other know what your dreams and visions are; what turns you on and off when it comes to everyday living. Even if you two don’t have anything in common cheer for your spouse anyway. Push your spouse into his/her goal; help when you can. You honestly don’t have to share the same dream and vision though it would be essential; however, you must be encouraging to each other. Believe in each other to achieve that desire. Go to your Pastor/Life Coach or Marriage Counselor to help you get back on track.

The order of a successful marriage is as follows.

1.  GOD; JESUS and The Holy Spirit

2.  Each other (and Children if you have them)

3.  Work; School or Ministry

4.  Friends

The apostles state clearly and enforce the nuptial duties of husband and wife (Eph. 5:22-33; Col. 3:18, 19; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). Many women find these scriptures hard to swallow and you should if you are in an abusive relationship. If either spouse is domineering towards the other; if either spouse does not love him/herself. How is it then possible for either of you to love another?

Whatever type of man or woman the two of you are when you met and began dating; most likely that is who you will be in the marriage. Women listen up…you cannot and you will not change a man. That ring that he places on your finger does not give you free will to dominate him or to try and change him into the man you really want. If he’s not the man that you want leave him alone for another man before you marry. Men that ring that you placed on her finger does not give you the right to abuse your wife emotionally, mentally or physically. You are one (1) person with separate personalities and you are to honor her more than you do your life; your car; your job; your homeboys or a game. Husbands and wives must learn to respect each other’s individuality and their common interest. Don’t marry just to ignore each other. Marriage is hard work people change with maturity and age; learn to roll with the tide.  

Marriage is said to be “honorable” (Heb. 13:4). The fastest way to destroy a marriage is to invite another man or women to your home; bedroom and bed figuratively or literally. You don’t have to actually bring the person there in person because what you are bringing is that person’s spirit. Most people are aware of the rule; for every person you sleep with the person you are sleeping with is sleeping with them also. When you commit adultery you bring that man or woman into your home and make your spouse sleep with that person unawares. Not only that; but having sex with anyone other than your spouse is a form of divorce. Sex between husband and wife is a renewal of the marriage covenant.  Shacking up is not a form of marriage it’s playing house; remember the old childhood games we used to play pretending to be our dads and moms? Man you want that woman marry her; woman you want that man marry him. If you don’t want to be married yet you want to enjoy all the benefits of marriage research the court legal documents. Is there a legal way to become espoused to each other without actually getting married; I doubt it but try. How about getting married without all the fan fare and not letting anyone know that legally you are husband and wife; keep up the pretense with dating each other exclusively. That might be exciting. Just don’t do what is written in (1 Timothy 4:3)

 Marriage derives from the Latin maritare, “to join together.

 It relates to another Latin word, mas, which means “male.”

 Wed comes ultimately from an Indo-European root for “pledge.” Matrimony stems from the Latin roots for “the condition of motherhood.” And conjugal is a descendant of the Latin conjugare, “to join together.”

 Husbands and wives I applaud you; grow together in every area of your life; keep marriage fresh and have fun. If you have found that the two of you have begun to drift apart come back together.

Your wife will become like a fruitful grapevine flourishing within your home. Your children will be vigorous as they sit around your table. This is The LORD’s blessing for those who respect HIM. Psalm 128:3-4

Husbands love your wives as you do yourself. A man who loves his wife is actually showing love towards himself. Ephesians 5:28

All couples at some point in their marriage begin to question their commitment to each other. That’s normal; what’s not normal is to give up and break ties because things are not going your way you think and that life is better elsewhere.

Two people are better than one; they can help each other to succeed. If one falls the other will reach out and pick the other up. If someone falls alone he/she is in real trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Husbands give honor to your wife. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She is your equal partner in GOD’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not go unanswered. 1 Peter 3:7

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