Judges 20:22
The most difficult person to speak with is, wait for it—yourself. How many of us have stood in front of a mirror and told ourselves that we LOVE ourselves, that we were made to challenge ourselves to be and do remarkable things, and so on?
When I was called into ministry by my DADDY through CHRIST JESUS, I replied to HIM that I cannot speak in front of a large group of people. Not realizing that HE already knew that.
Some people are born shy, and some people are made to be shy. I am the latter; I was made that way when I was just the whisp of a girl. I often received corrections for speaking out until I no longer spoke the words that I wanted to say but rather learned to keep quiet. I learned that my comfort zone to speak was with my siblings [sometimes], but most often with my friends.
Becoming an adult with these fears kept me always on the lookout for mishaps that may come my way in many ways. I knew who to keep quiet around and I knew who I was comfortable enough to speak with, but the number was never over three at a time. To me having four people around me at once was a crowd and I wanted to be invisible. Can you imagine my days in school having this mindset so young in life?
When I was anointed for ministry, Holy Spirit led me into the latrine and said to me “Speak to yourself.” Gazing at myself in the mirror caused me to shake and cry because it was just that difficult for me to speak to that image but ever so easy to speak with myself when I was not looking at myself. I had to continue to do this exercise until I became comfortable with looking at myself and speaking with myself.
Once I accomplished that goal of being able to speak directly to my image my manager where I was employed called me into his office. He told me that I will begin to have the added responsibility of conducting small conference meetings when he will not be able to do them himself. I did everything that I could to get out of that. But he never gave in to my pleas to get another more qualified person for that assignment. The first meeting that I had to speak with my co-workers was a disaster, they had no idea what I was speaking about, and I never once looked at them.
I was later critiqued by my manager who was hiding from me so that he could listen as I fumbled my way through this most challenging time. Later, he called me into his office and said that he enrolled me in The Dale Carnegie School of Public Speaking. My response “For what!?” Because he was not going to let me out of the added responsibility that he had placed me in.
I went and the first couple of classes were a disaster. We were taught the skill sets of public speaking and encouraged to speak before our class. When it came time for me to graduate, I had no idea that I had improved at such a level that I was top of my class [faux Summa Cumme Laude].
In this class, I learned to encourage myself as well as many other skill sets that a public speaker should have. And I was able to use them at yet another small conference meeting that my manager instructed me to lead. He was pleased with what I had accomplished and so was I.
Sometime later, Holy Spirit informed me that He used my manager to help me to overcome that faux shyness that had me in its grip when I needed to speak with a large crowd of four or more. I laughed about that. Then, while at work I went to my manager and asked him if he was aware that GOD was using him to help me to speak to more than three people at one time. He claimed that he did not, but I am thankful that he was willing to be used in the plan of GOD to help me overcome what was difficult for me.
Today, though I have been classically trained to speak in front of a crowd of people, and I have done so at various times. I found out that I do not like public speaking, but I can and will do so if necessary.
I found out that when I am asked to speak before people that I must encourage myself, that I must go to a mirror and speak encouraging words to myself, speak those words that my FATHER has made a claim regarding myself. So that when the time comes for me to speak, I will do so with confidence because I know that my DADDY is right there with me as I speak to my audience.
No matter what you would like to accomplish in your life be sure to encourage yourself because we cannot rely on family members or those, we socialize with to cheer us on. Our FATHER, JESUS, and Holy Spirit are our greatest cheerleaders and support team. HE knows what HE has given us the ability to accomplish and what we desire to be or do. Know that we are equipped for the challenge that we place ourselves in or the challenge that others believe we can do.
You may need to find a quiet place anywhere and look into that mirror and speak to yourself telling yourself who you are in CHRIST JESUS and what you can do through CHRIST JESUS and that you are equipped for the challenge.
AMFBeM © TM